Over The Hedge: The Drama
by I'm Black and Proud
Summary: My first drama. I'm not that kind of guy who likes drama, but still. This is all made up. Some of the parts do not fit in with the movie. Rated M for use of the F word. This story is about when Hammy gets a disease and only has 3 days to live.
1. The News

**As you guys know... NO OWN OTH. This will be my first drama.**

"Ha-Ha!" laughed Verne.

"What's so funny?" asked an angry Hammy.

"You and your cookies." answered a laughing Verne.

Hammy, instead of arguing, simply walks away. He is not in the mood for arguing. In fact, since 9:30 that morning, the only emotion he was feeling was anger and sadness.

Flashback to a talent show:

"Okay, the next participant will be Hammy." said RJ.

"Oh great!" said Verne.

"Shut it, you fat douche." warned Hammy.

Verne was a little taken back by Hammy's edgy tone, so he shut up almost immediately.

"As you can tell, I'm not in a good mood, not that any of you care. I will not bore you. I'm just going to say that I'm going to present you will my new cookie-made invention. It's a detector of…well, it's actually a cookie despenser that also tells you when you're going to die. I can show you if you want." said Hammy.

With that said, the everyone burst into laughter. This caused Hammy's anger to explode.

"SHUT UP!!!! I'm sick of everyone laughing at me, and mocking me for who I am and what I like to do. You mock me, but if I was to disappear or die, you'd…never mind. You don't care, none of you." said Hammy.

Hammy then burst into tears and ran away.

End of flashback

Hammy's friends has been mocking and laughing at him ever since. Luckily, after a few hours, the day was over. Hammy ran to the log, angry tears flowing from his eyes. Suddenly, Hammy started to wheeze, and he became short of breath. As sudden as it happened, it stopped. He was not asthmatic, so he didn't understand why he was having respiration problems. Nonetheless, RJ made an appointment to see the doctor, which was going to be today. For you see, Hammy has become short of breath on several occasions over the past week. He sees RJ standing, ready to walk him to his doctor's appointment. He silently comes towards him and walks with him. The whole time they were walking to the doctor's office, Hammy and RJ were silent. Well, RJ was only talking in his mind.

_"Man, Hammy's been acting pissed off, he's running out of breath all the time. He was always a go-happy fun-loving person. I hope he's okay. Maybe it's stress. Wait a minute-- I think it was from that talent show. It was all of us. But it mostly was that bitch, Verne. He acts like a asshole all the time. Fuck him-- Oh, shit! I'm looking at Hammy for 2 minutes now! He's gonna think I'm gay with him, even though I'm not!"_

RJ turned away in a milisecond.

Soon, they were at the doctor's office. Hammy walks into the waiting room of the doctor's office; the office was painted white, had an aquarium of Goldfish (yes, the actual crackers), and various catalogs about random things. After an hour of waiting, Hammy goes into the examination room.

"Hello, Hammy. Can you tell me what's wrong?" asked Dr. Simba.

"Lately I've been having problems breathing after I get pissed off at people." explained Hammy.

"Well, let's have a look." said Dr. Simba.

After 2 hours of medical examinations and blood work and test, the doctor comes into the room.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. It seems that after years of second-hand smoking because of stress, you have been diagnosed with lung cancer. Worse than that, it seems that you only have 3 days to live after today. I'm sorry." said Dr. Simba with his voice breaking.

Dr. Simba leaves the room. He can hear Hammy crying behind the door.

"Poor guy. I'm gonna miss him."

Soon Hammy and RJ left and went home. Hammy, once he got home, he runs to the log, still crying heavily. He gets a card, writes "LEAVE ME ALONE" on it, then puts it in front of the log. He lies down, where he has another wheezing attack. Once the attack is over, he stops crying. That is when Ozzy comes in.

"What's wrong?" asked Ozzy.

"I have lung cancer, and after today, I have three days to live!" said Hammy, with tears running down his cheeks.

Ozzy was about to faint until Hammy stopped him

"I need advice on what to do!"

"You can accept your death!" said Ozzy.

"Only if I have too!" said Hammy.

"You could commit suicide!" said Ozzy.

"Hell no!" said Hammy. "Sorry about the language."

"It's alright. You can think of a cure!" said Ozzy.

"I don't have the time!" exclaimed Hammy. "I guess I'll just have to accept my death."

Ozzy, looking emotional, hugs Hammy and leaves.

"How am I going to tell the rest of my friends?" asked Hammy, to no one in particular.

"Suddenly, there is a knock on the log. Hammy doesn't answer. Instead, he lies back down.

"Come in!" said Hammy.

They do. In the logway stand Heather, Spike, Bucky, and Quillo.

"What do you want?" asked Hammy.

"Were sorry about earlier." said the four friends.

"Apologies accepted. Now leave!" said Hammy, with authority.

"What's wrong?" asked Heather.

"I'm emotionally and physically drained. Now please leave. I'll explain tomorrow." said Hammy.

The four friends look at him with concern, but fulfill his request and leave. After they left, Hammy attempted to fall asleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day...or will it?


	2. The Truth

After Heather, Spike, Bucky, and Quillo left the log, they went to the Candy Bar part of the hedge. They order some sundaes and sit down.

"What the heck is wrong with Hammy?" asked Quillo.

"Yeah, and why were you being so nice to him, Heather?" asked Spike. "You acted like you love him."

"I was concerned, is all. And I don't know why Hammy was acting strange." said Heather.

"Okay Heather, first of all, you were never concerned about Hammy like THIS before. Secondly, you felt like you were about to faint after you taked to him. Which you almost never do. Are you sure your feeling like yourself?" asked Bucky.

"I'm feeling fine!" yelled Heather, anger present in her voice.

"Calm down, I was only asking." said Bucky.

Heather lets out a huge sigh.

"It's okay. I'm just a bit edgy right now." explained Heather.

"So we noticed!" commented Bucky, Quillo, and Spike simultaneously.

At that moment, the robotic waiter (hey, RJ knows technology) comes over and hands everyone their sundaes.

"Thank you. Here you go!" said Heather.

Heather pays for everyone's snack. Heather receives strange looks from her friends.

"I thought I'd treat today." said Heather, answering everyone's silent question.

Everyone starts to eat, except Heather. She has a far away look in her eyes. Everyone is to busy eating to notice the sudden change in Heather.

"Here, have this, I don't want it. I'm not really hungry." said Heather.

Heather hands her ice cream to Spike, who hesitantly accepts it. Heather stands up and starts to walk away from the table.

"Where are you going?" asked Quillo.

"To do some…um…research." said Heather.

Before Quillo could ask Heather to explain what she meant, Heather leaves the candy bar. Quillo shrugs and goes back to eating her ice cream treat. Heather, after leaving the candy bar, walks to the log. She stops. She could hear Hammy's mom (who came to visit) and RJ crying.

_"What's going on? Maybe this isn't a good time." _

Heather turns around and starts to leave, until she realized that someone was tugging on her arm. She quickly turns around, and her eyes land on Hammy.

"We need to talk. Let's go to the park." said Hammy, almost silently.

Heather nods. Hammy grabs her hand in his, and, together, they slowly go to the park. Upon their arrival, they sit on the swing set. They start to swing slowly. They were silent the entire trip to the park, and now they remain silent, that is, until Hammy talks, breaking the silence.

"Heather, what I'm about to say has to be kept a secret, at least until I say this to other people myself."

Heather nods, confusedly. She notes the seriousness of Hammy's voice.

"I have lung cancer, and after today, I'll have 3 days to live."

Heather gasps as her eyes start to water. Hammy continues his speech.

"They say I got the cancer from years of second-hand smoking from too much stress. Now, before I die, there are a few things I must do and say, including saying some thing to you. First, I don't hate you; I never did. I find you beautiful, smart, and very attractive. Well, now's my last chance to say this, so here it goes. Heather, I love you. I always have, ever since I first laid eyes on you. I don't know if you feel the same about me, but remember this; you are my angel - My shining star. You are my inspiration when I have none. You are the most important person in my life."

Hammy lets out a big sigh.

"You are going to make somebody very happy later in life." finished Hammy.

Hammy gets off the swing set and kisses Heather. It was a long kiss, one that neither of them will ever forget. They pull away slowly. Heather hugs Hammy and starts to cry on his shoulder.

In-between sobs, she asks, "Was that what you had to do? Kiss me?"

"Yes it was. I just wish I could have done that earlier. I love you Hammy, with all my heart."

"I love you too! Dammit, why did God deal you this cruel fate, why? Why!" yelled Heather.

Heather continues to cry on Hammys shoulder, while Hammy pats her back, in an attempt to comfort her.

_"This is not going the way I had planned." _

Hammy pulls Heather away slightly and looks into her eyes. He wipes a tear that is rolling down her face.

"That isn't the Heather I know. The Heather I know is a strong, independent woman who doesn't take bullshit from anybody. She would never break down like this, not even because of my disease. Are you the Heather I knew before, or are you a weak, crybaby who lets people and things trample her?" asked Hammy.

Heather stops crying.

"That's what I thought. Come on, I'll walk you home. We won't have too many more moments like this, so we might as well enjoy them." said Hammy.

Heather smiled at him, and allowed him to hold he hand. Hammy took her hand and flashed her a reassuring smile. They walk to her area of the hedge. They arrive there.

"Please, try not to worry. I'll try everything--I mean _EVERYTHING_ to get rid of this horrible disease, I promise." said Hammy.

Hammy, before he left, gave Heather a long kiss. They pull away slowly, and they both have shell-shocked looks on their faces. They look at one another, and smile.

"You've had your turn." began Heather.

Hammy gave her a confused look.

"Now let me show you how it's done."

Heather then gave Hammy a lesson in kissing. She started to kiss him, and then she slowly French kissed him. They kissed like that until they needed oxygen. They pull away slowly. Hammy collapses on his butt, while Heather is standing, licking her lips, and smiling. Hammy looks up at her and smiles at her with the biggest smile ever seen.

"Holy shit! That was better than cookies AND burping ABC's!!" said Hammy.

"That is how you kiss somebody, especially if that might be their last kiss ever." said Heather.

Heather helps a satisfied Hammy up to his feet.

"I'll be right back!" said Heather.

Heather runs into her box, where she keeps valuble items. Even if they were from a trash can. A few seconds later, she returns with a small locket.

"I want you to have this." said Heather.

Hammy nods, thanks her, gives her a small, lighthearted, goodbye kiss, and crosses his street. He looks at Heather, blows her a kiss. She blows him one back. Hammy and Heather smile at each other, and then Hammy goes into his area of the hedge. Little did he know, that might have been his first and final moment with Heather alone.


	3. The Will

Hammy, when he got into his area of the hedge, decided to write his will.

_"I won't have much time to live, so I might as well." _

Hammy grabs a pen and paper and writes out his will. He then signs it, as proof that he wrote it. Hammy then asks Ozzy to record a video will, as sort-of a back up will. Ozzy records every word he says.

"If you are listening to this, then I've already passed away. I made a written will, but if you don't believe it is authenticated, I also made this. This is my will. I wish for RJ to have anything of mine that involves cookies or nuts. I wish for my mom to have anything non-silly that she has understanding about. I wish for Quillo to have anything music related. I wish for Heather to have anything romantic. Spike and Bucky can have anything that involves video games, and anything else I haven't previously mentioned, or anything I'm going to mention. My area and everything in it is to be given to Heather, Bucky, Quillo, and Spike, but tell them to be careful. I don't want them to try to make something to bring me back to life. As for any cookies or nuts, ½ is to be given to various charities around the world; the other ½ is to be given, in a 6-way split, to Heather, Spike, Bucky, Quillo, my mom and RJ. Tell Heather that I love her. Tell my mom and RJ that I love them. (I don't love RJ in a gay way. Blech!) Tell Bucky, Spike, and Quillo that they were the best friends a person could ask for. I will be watching all six of you from heaven, hopefully. As for that retard, Verne, tell him to go fuck himself and kiss my ass! Do not sell any of my properties or ideas. This is Hammy, who approves this will and everything contained in it. Thank You! Oh, and if you have any questions, please refer to my written will, which contains this information with more specifics as to who these people are! This is Hammy, and I'm out of here."

With that, Ozzy stopped recording the will. Hammy, after recording the will, looks at the locket Heather gave him. It contained two pictures; one of each side of the locket. On the left side, it contained a picture of the gang when they were right about to exit that uncharted island Hammy and Heather were stranded on. Looking at that picture made Hammy reminisce about what happened on the island.

Flashback

"Are you guys coming or not?" asked Spike.

"Yeah, Lets get this mirage on the road!" yelled RJ.

Heather looks at Hammy with her puppy-dog eyes. Hammy looks at her back.

"Heather, we have to leave. I don't think we have any other choice." said Hammy.

Heather gets a sad look on her face. Hammy doesn't know what to do, and then he gets a brilliant idea. Hammy looks at Heather again.

"We can't say." began Hammy "But that doesn't mean the memory can't stay." finished Hammy.

Heather looks at him strangely.

"I'll be right back." said Hammy.

Hammy runs to the ship and pulls out his bag. Out of the bag, he pulls out a digital camera. Heather, getting the idea, stands in front of the ship. Hammy sets the camera up on a stand, and runs to the hovercar. He stands next to Heather and puts his arm around her. They all smile as the camera takes the picture.

End of Flashback

Hammy starts to tear up a little as he looks at the picture. He wipes his eyes and looks at the second picture. It is of Heather. She is wearing a golden tiara. In the middle of the tiara is the pearl Hammy gave her on the island. Heather is smiling in the picture. In the middle, between the two pictures, are an inscription and a note. He removes the note, and reads the inscription.

The inscription reads "Where ever you go, never forget us or me".

Hammy closes the locket, sets it down, and reads the note.

The note says "I hope you remember the first picture. It was right before we left that island. The second picture is me posing for a regular picture. Yes, I still have the pearl you gave me! I was going to give you this for a Christmas or birthday present, but due to your…disease, I thought I'd give it to you early. I hope you survive; I really do, but if you don't survive, don't forget us, especially me. You made a courageous step by telling me how you felt about me. I will always admire you for that. I love you too! I hope you find a way out of this.

Your girlfriend, Heather"

Hammy, after reading the letter, runs to his cookie-ivention desk. He is going to try one thing, the only thing he could think of, to save his life. This was either going to kill him, or make him stronger.


	4. Knocking On Death's Door

Hammy looks at his cookie-typed inventions. He goes to his failed experiments shelve and pulls out his total mega health boosting capsules (with a GREAT cookie TASTE!). He puts the capsules on the table and takes out his 'Cookie despenser/death-time finder' - the experiment that was ridiculed by his friends. He was going to find out when he was going to die.

_"Why not? I'm going to die anyways, I might as well." _

Hammy used the machine and was surprised at the answer.

It said, "You're already knocking on deaths door, and are awaiting an answer."

Hammy, while trying to comprehend the answer, uses the capsules. As soon as he does, he starts to cough up blood, and his breathing becomes restricted. Hammy's face becomes red, as well as his body. Then his body becomes pale, and he passes out. The last thing he heard was ambulance sirens.

**This chapter deserves one thing:**

**To be continued...**


	5. They Pronounce Hammy

The ambulance comes to Hammy's area. Ozzy opens the door, and the ambulance crew puts Hammy on a stretcher. They exit the area just as Hammy's mom and RJ come out to see what all the commotion was about. Once Hammy's mom sees Hammy on the stretcher, she faints. RJ, ignoring the woman at the moment, rushes to his best friend's side.

"What happened?" asked RJ, tears swelling in his eyes.

Before the ambulance crew could answer, Ozzy yelled, "RJ! Let the nice animal crew do their work!". This attracted the attention of RJ while the ambulance crew puts Hammy in the ambulance. As Hammy is pulled into the ambulance, Heather runs over. She tries to get on the ambulance, but is stopped.

"Who are you?" asked an ambulance member.

"I'm Heather, Hammy's girlfriend, and I want on, now!" said Heather, her anger growing.

"Okay, get on." said the ambulance member.

Heather gets on the ambulance and the ambulance member closes the door. They speed off to the hospital. Heather takes Hammy's hand in hers. It has a pulse, but it is ice cold.

"Doc, Hammy's hand is ice cold. **(NOTE: see what I told ya?)** Isn't there anything you can do about it?" asked Heather, concern present in her voice.

The ambulance doctor checks Hammy's hand, and confirms that it is indeed ice cold **(NOTE: see?)**. The doctor also notices an irregularity in Hammy's pulse.

"Heather, unfortunately, there is nothing I can do. Furthermore, I'm sorry to inform you that…that…you friend is dying." said the ambulance doctor.

"No. Come on Hammy, don't move towards the light. Please, don't die!" said Heather, who is almost at the point of hysterics.

"Heather, please calm down!" said the ambulance doctor.

Heather calms down, but only a little. The ambulance doctor rechecks the pulse; there is none. The doctor gets out the EMT (?) machine.

"Stand back." said the ambulance doctor.

Heather takes a few steps back.

"Clear!" said the ambulance doctor.

The ambulance doc uses the machine on Hammy. Hammy bounces up once, and then falls back down. There is still no pulse, so the ambulance doc tries again. He keeps trying until they arrived at the hospital. They try 10 different things at the hospital. After about 1 hour, they pronounce Hammy... dead.

**Ah, yes. The suspense begins...**

**Dun-dun-duuuuun!**


	6. He's No Longer With Us

The doctors go out of the room and out into the hallway where not only Heather, but also Verne (who is pissed because he had to come), Bucky, Quillo, Spike, RJ and Hammy's mom were. The doctor looks at them sadly.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. Hammy, well, he's…he's…he's no longer with us." said the doctor, at that, Hammy's mom and Heather start to bawl their eyes out. RJ puts his arms around Hammy's mom, trying to comfort her. As for Heather, Bucky, Spike, and Quillo give her a hug.

As for Verne, the heartless bastard who dosen't care about shit, "This is bullshit. Meet me outside the hospital. I hope Hammy rots in his grave." says a heartless Verne as he goes down the elevator to leave and take a smoke.

The rest of the gang all knew how much she loved Hammy. Heather and Hammy's mom continue to cry. They all leave the hospital, trying to comfort Heather or Hammy's mom. They continue to cry (except Verne) until they get to their separate areas of the hedge, where they fall asleep. This is going to be one of the saddest days all of them have ever had.


	7. The Saddest Day Of Their Lives

3 days have passed since Hammy's death. RJ, Verne (who ONCE AGAIN doesn't give a shit), Ozzy. Spike, Bucky, Quillo, Heather, and Hammy's mom are at the funeral. They sit in the church. Hammy's body is in a casket. Hammy's friends, Bucky, Quillo, Spike, and RJ look at him and they each remember a special time with him. Soon, the church fills up with relatives that have come to pay their respects to the guy who made them laugh so many countless times. The funeral director speaks.

"We have gathered here today to pay respects to Hammy the squirrel, son and friend to many of us. He had lung cancer; a terrible disease that has taken so many lives. We, as his friends and family, shall pray for his safe accent into heaven. We shall now say the Hail Mary 86 times."

They all say the Hail Mary 86 times, and each time they say it, more and more tears start to come out. Except for Verne. Who said "fuck this shit" 86 times.

The funeral director speaks toward Verne. "Excuse me sir, but if you make one more disrespectful remark, I will have to ask you to leave."

"Alright, alright." Said Verne.

"Now, we shall say the Our Father."

They say the Our Father. As they say the prayer, they feel Hammy's living presence in the room, even though they all knew he was and is dead. As always, except Verne.

"Now, if anybody would like to say a few words about Hammy, please come up here now."

The first person to speak about Hammy was RJ. He walked up to the podium, with tears in his eyes.

"Hammy was always a funny guy. He always knew what to do when he had to do it. I must admit, when he spoke, it was hard to follow him sometimes. I never thought his life would end like this. He was like a brother to me... a son. I'm gonna miss him."

RJ walked away from the podium, somewhat crying. As he walked away, Hammy's mom, walked up to the podium. She was almost completely in tears as she spoke.

"Hammy was a talented boy. Some would say that he was the next Pee-Wee Herman. I would say that he was the best son a mother could have. I'm gonna miss him too."

Hammy's mom walked away, crying. The next person to go up was Bucky. He was also in tears.

"Hammy was my best friend. He would always whup my butt in video games, but I didn't care. At least, not at that time. Now I wish he were still alive, so we can play more games. I'm gonna miss him."

Bucky walked away, as Spike walked up to the podium, also in tears.

"Hammy was a good friend. He was always there when we needed him most. Now he's gone. I gonna miss him."

Spike, not thinking of anything more to say, walked away. Quillo went up next.

"Hammy was an excellent friend. He also was like a big brother to me. I'll miss him."

Quillo walked away, in tears.

Next was... Verne

"Well... Hammy was stupid, gay, and I HOPE HE ROTS IN THAT FUCKING CASKET!!!! See what cookies and nuts and caffine has done to you, Hammy? HUH??!!! SEE WHAT RJ HAS DONE TO YOU??!! SEE WHAT--

Before Verne continued with that heinous speech, security took him away.

"LET GO OF ME!!! I'M SPEAKING THE TRUTH!!!" Yelled Verne.

As the security gaurds took him outside the church, "Don't even think on coming back here." said one security gaurd.

"What are you gonna do to me? Beat me? That's not your job. HA! In your face!"

"Actually, that's HIS job." A HUGE, MUSCULAR gaurd came out, cracking his knuckles.

"Mommy..." Whimpered Verne.

Punches were heard from inside the church, then an ambulance, because Verne got his ass kicked so badly.

The last person to go up was Heather. Heather, for one of the few times in her life, was in tears. When she spoke, she spoke straight from the heart.

"Well, this is it. After years of fighting and conflict, here we are. Hammy's in a casket, and I'm here, talking at his funeral. It's surprising what we take for granted. We think were invincible, but when we least expect it, death comes and takes us away; away from our friends, away from our families. Once, I thought of Hammy as an egotistical, crazy but funny person, but as time went on, my opinion of him changed. Now I think of him as a loving, caring, light-hearted, and still funny person. I once didn't care about him that much, and now that he's in that casket, I can finally admit to myself, as well as to all of you, that I love him. Hammy, I love you, and I'll miss you."

Heather walked away, crying as she kissed the casket. The funeral director stepped up to the podium.

"If that is everybody, please follow me to Hammy's burial spot. There, we will say one final prayer."

The story turns to Hammy's point of view: Who is in Heaven eating cookies, finding nuts, and the very, very most important part... hanging out with his father.

**_If I could get_**

**_Another chance_**

**_Another walk_**

**_Another dance with him_**

**_I'd play a song that never ever end_**

**_How I'd love, love, love_**

**_To dance with my father again_**

**_Every night I fall asleep_**

**_And this is all I ever dream_**

With that, the story went back to the people's point of views, and the group went to the burial grounds. They said one final prayer, went to the proceeding lunch-in, and went back to the hedge, and when Hammy's mom headed for the airport to back to her home, where they divided Hammy's possessions according to his will. It was truly the saddest day of their lives.

**BOOMSHACKLACKA!!! My first drama COMPLETE in ONE day. I also realized... I FORGOT TO ADD STELLA!!! DAMN!! Oh, well... At least I did a good story.**

**Review please! Flames welcome. I know you guys feel sad, just tell me your opinions.**

**Lyrics: Dance With My Father- Luther Vandross**


End file.
